Category Archives: Humour

The Future of Road to GM

I’ve now returned from my year in China, but the future of my project to become a Grandmaster is still uncertain.  In order to study chess it is absolutely necessary to be alive, and in order to remain alive for any length of time access to food, water and shelter is useful.  The acquisition of these requires money, so it is to the generation of said money that I now turn my attention.

It is my hope that at some point in the future I will once again be able to dedicate a significant amount of time and energy to chess, but that point is not now.  I have set up an email list for the purpose of informing people if/when this project becomes active again.  You can sign up on the right.


Training with Kasparov

I have some extremely exciting news today! In July, I will be training with the greatest player of all time, former World Champion Garry Kasparov, for the whole month. The first half of the month will be spent in New York, where Kasparov will just have attended the North American Youth Championships, and in mid-July we will travel together to the World Team Championships in Ningbo, China.

Kasparov was told about my project by ChessBase‘s Frederic Friedel at Viktor Korchnoi’s recent 80th Birthday Celebration in Zürich, and was apparently immediately interested in it.  Fred showed him a recent game of mine which I had sent him, where I managed to beat FM David Eggleston with the white pieces in a Sicilian Najdorf, and Kasparov said it ‘showed promise’ and expressed an interest in helping me.  Here’s the game:

Fred put us in touch, and we have now spoken twice on the phone to work out the above plan. I do not yet know any details about the training, but I will let you know as soon as I have any more information about this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!

Kirsan Baby

Road to Grandmaster has branched into music and political satire for the festive season. My altered cover of ‘Santa Baby’ – retitled ‘Kirsan Baby’ – can be found below. It’s a lighthearted tribute to the FIDE President.

Here are the lyrics:

Kirsan Baby, slip three GM norms under the tree, for me.
Been an awful good boy, Kirsan baby,
So hurry down the chimney tonight.

Kirsan baby, 2500 rating points too, from you.
I’ll wait up for you dear, Kirsan baby,
So hurry down the chimney tonight.

Oh! All the blunders I’ve made,
Think of all the brilliant moves I haven’t played,
Next year I could be just as good,
If you’ll check off my Christmas list,

Kirsan baby, I wanna chess set with flashing lights
Been an angel all year, Kirsan baby,
So hurry down the chimney tonight.

Kirsan honey, there’s one thing I really would like, the right,
To a championship match, with Anand,
So hurry down the chimney tonight.

Kirsan cutie, and fill my stocking with MegaBase, from ChessBase,
P’raps a DVD too, Kirsan cutie,
And hurry down the chimney tonight.

Come and trim my Christmas tree,
With some Staunton chessmen bought at Regency,
I really did vote for you,
Now where is my Vice Presidency?

Kirsan baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a ride.
In your friends’ UFO, Kirsan baby,
So hurry down the chimney tonight,
Hurry down the chimney tonight,
Hurry, tonight.

Vocals: William Taylor
Backing track:
Lyrics: William Taylor and Tim Taylor
Video: Tim Taylor

Original song ‘Santa Baby’ by Joan Javits, Philip Springer and Fred Ebb.

I hope you like it, and I encourage you all to record your own chess-related Christmas singles!